A Decision
After a few years of thinking, I’ve finally decided to write. Like I’ve heard Julian Carvajal say: "Just do it, go for it." Even if your moment doesn’t come now, it will come when it’s meant to.
And so the moment for writing has come.
Right now I’m on a train to Ottawa, heading to the Through the Storm conference, a nationwide gathering of media-based centers. As I write it, I see the trees and water passing through my peripheral view. I’m wondering about how to balance and navigate Samay as my own person, alongside the institutions I’m meant to represent.
I wonder how much to say or not to say. This has been at the center of my internal debate: to write a blog or not to write?
My name is Samay and my western age is 32, or at least a few days from turning 32. I’ve moved through many spaces, juggling as many of you do. Realizing it’s tiring to juggle, and instead turning to ciders and bubble teas for comfort. Maybe it’s a millennial thing.
A mentor of mine told me that this was the year of planting seeds. And that next year would be my year; a year of harvesting what I’ve planted. And I’m really excited about that, but it’s also scary. How to adult and why even? What if I make a mistake that there’s no turning back from?
But then I remind myself that I’m too hard on myself. There’s no such thing as a mistake at this point; just learning lessons. and taking advantage of the safety nets I’ve built with so much effort for years. If plan A doesn’t catch me, plan B will, or maybe plan C or D. I’m pretty sure I learned this from my dad, whose eternal good luck has caught him his whole life.
I feel like my writing will be all over the place. Not super consistent in time or theme. Whenever the urge hits, I think. Potentially just general thoughts, what's on my mind that day, creative musings, unanswerable questions, art I’m working on or things coming up.
One thing I did want to talk about this time around was the screening of:
The Story of the Dancing Heart
It’s finally happening! As part of the Christie Pits programming of the Toronto Outdoor Picture Show: August 28 at 8pm, 2022 (Please look at their website for better details).
This was the last film I made with a full crew. I’m always thinking it’s probably the last one. Shot on 16mm and edited entirely on a flatbed (with the exception of the credits). This film was monumental for me because I made it for Ailyn, who is sometimes with us in spirit, and who tasked me with making this thing before leaving. I put every ounce of intention I could with it. From choosing who to work with, how to treat the image and sound, how to bring her spirit through life as I touched the strips of film, just as how her hands shaped pottery.
In return, Ailyn made sure to show it at the appropriate place, to the audience who should see it. A free event at a park in Toronto that anyone can access. Can you believe it? :)
I'll be forever honoured she handed me this task. It’s a highlight of my creative career for sure. I am thankful for that gift.
If you’re in Toronto, COME! It’s going to be sweet :)
To anyone who read this, holy damn you read to the bottom! Wow that’s cool :)