aabaakwad 2024

I’m writing this now so it’s all fresh in my mind. It’s rushed writing before it all leaves. 

This weekend I was able to attend aabaakwad (at UfT), a gathering put together by Wanda Nanibush, done so in the most thoughtful, caring, intentional ways. 7 years in the making, the completion of a cycle. 

I’m sifting through all the things it brought up. And more than anything, wanting to hold onto the new memories built with people I’ve been around for quite some time. It felt like an intertwining of paths. As Wanda described: a way of bringing us all together so that when the fight comes, we already know each other. We are already in relation to each other. We’ve already built those networks so necessary to rise up. Build our Indigenous sovereignties. 

I’ll begin with memories, so I have a record for myself. 

Thursday - Possible Worlds Panel

The thing that stuck with me most are the highlighted realities of what it's like to live as an Indigenous migrant by Vasemaca Tavola, who is Indigenous to Fiji, but living in Aotearoa. How it can feel disjointing because you have the shared experience of being Indigenous, but are often sidelined, othered in this weird way by people who are similar to you. A minority within a minority. 

She also brought up this idea of kin as portals and kin-space-time-envelope, which is something I’m curious about looking into.

Friday, Dec. 6 - Screenings with Talkbacks

Super huge highlight was seeing JL Whitecrow’s MFA film The First Indigenous Female Pornographer. I had the honour of seeing it while in the editing phase when Jamie trusted me with a little feedback for it. It was an incredibly funny, smart, brilliant way of presenting Indigenous sexualities and becoming empowered through it in a way that was super intellectual? But super accessible? Like how do you do that?! Jamie did it. 

Also always hit with awe at Theo Cuthand’s way of opening up about his personal life and presenting it on film. Little sidenote, Theo’s openness online is probably the biggest inspiration for me in writing this blog, or wanting to write this blog. He shows me it’s possible to be unafraid of being honest even within the context of work. If he can be vulnerable online, then heck yeah so can I!

Seeing emerging artists Alexis Nanibush-Pamajewong, and Laura Grier speak of their practices also felt like it empowered me to trust in my vision and what I want to do with my practice. There’s no wrong answer. Following intuition and self is key. Alexis I’ve known already and it was really amazing to get introduced to Laura’s work.

Friday, Dec. 6 - Poetry + Party

Jeremy Dutcher opened up the space with their powerful voice, rhythm, energy. Holy crap it was beautiful. Because it was such an intimate space - and the opening had no mics, no tech assistance - the energy felt incredibly amplified. It made me understand that the power of being so connected to your source and self, means that the possibilities of impacting the world around you becomes bigger and bigger. 

Even just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

I’m going to go off on a tangent. Like… get this. As Indigenous people we’re survivors of genocide, violence, colonialism. Right? Someone taught me recently about the use of the word “luck”, which I have tended to use in nonchalant ways, and perhaps I should stop. It is not accurate to describe what we (ie. native people) experience. It is not “luck” that keep us here, it is sheer power, resilience, LOVE, knowledge, relations, a desire to thrive and be in harmony. That is what we inherit as survivors. 

So now. Honour that inheritance. And I think this is something I have to bring inwards, into my body. How can I carry out my life in a way that honours my inheritance. 

Anyways…

Close tangent.

Jeremy was pretty freaking amazing. So was Nasrin Himada, who described how “grief generates an ethic of love”.

So was Laakkuluk, whose poetry piece and performance about the creation of the Sun and Moon hit me with wonder. Her voice, pacing, intonation… so rooted in herself, so rooted in the lands she’s from. It felt perfect. 

Saturday, Dec. 7 

What hit me most from Saturday were the night performances. I felt in awe, I cried, I relaxed, I danced. So many waves of all kinds of emotions hit. And damn… isn’t that why we’re alive? To feel, to share, to love, to exist in a state of wonder. 

That’s what it felt like. Wonder of the depth of the work each artist digs and digs and digs for. Being brought into creation through body, mind, spirit. Aren’t we SO blessed to be alive to witness creation?!

Artist line up was:

The Halluci Nation

Ikumagiialit (those that need fire)
with Cris Derksen, Laakkuluk Williamson-Bathory, Christine Tootoo

Archer Pechawis – Genocide Falling

Timimie Märak

Roula Said

Kimmernaq Kjeldsen and Mike Thomsen

Sarah DeCarlo and Charlie Glasspool

That night threads were woven. Sparks burst. Bees bumped against each other. You know?

I write this to not forget that feeling of being in community. One that recognizes you, or at least be present in one you don’t have to pretend in. The gift of being yourself in spaces like those is beautiful. It makes me believe in a better tomorrow. That a better tomorrow is even possible. 

If we all just show who we are. And we can see each other for who we are. 

Kaypi mikanchik. We are here. For ourselves and each other.